Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
ReBirth
October 13th, 2010
That is when I realized my life hit rock bottom, lowest it could ever go. Have you ever felt that way before? Then you would understand when I say: I would never have the sufficient words or courage to explain how that felt.
That is when I realized my life hit rock bottom, lowest it could ever go. Have you ever felt that way before? Then you would understand when I say: I would never have the sufficient words or courage to explain how that felt.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Superstitious
It has been a special week, I'd say. First we had 08-09-10 on Monday and today is Friday the 13th. I did not hear much about Friday the 13th growing up. The first time I heard of it was in SS2 (11th grade). I remember that Friday (which was also the day before valentines day), I woke up early as usually and made my way to the 5:45am Friday mass. It was still dark outside and I always enjoyed the quiet it brought; and walking alone. This particular Friday however, there was something eerie about the air. Also, I could swear that somewhere in the distance, I could hear someone wailing. None the less, I shrugged it off.
After mass was over, we made it to dinning for "seven seas" (A morning variation of night cap) then dispersed to class. That was when the rumours started to spread. I was hearing it all over. The voices claimed Mr. Paul Utulu was dead. gasp! Mr Paul Utulu was my favorite teacher. He was also my club leader and choir manager. I respected and admired him. He recently got married; had a daughter that was about a year or more old and a newly born son. His son had been ill; so much that we feared that he wouldn't make it. The school collectively said daily prayers for him. Then two days before, Mr Paul had gone to the hospital with minor complains and never came back. His son soon got well. They all said it was like the life of the father was exchanged for that of the son.
This is my very first memory of Friday the 13th. It was also the first time I ever lost my voice (from crying). This sad experience had made me cautious, although I do not think I am extremely superstitious about Friday the 13ths.
Today I said a prayer, but only because I was inspired from the week. In hindsight, I should have said one for this Friday the 13th too. 12:10pm and everything thing possible has gone wrong at work, and I am not in a terribly good mood. I have never been so stressed -balancing the work load of two. Oh Lawd!
Till date, I have occasional dreams about him. And would marvel at the conversations we had. RIP
After mass was over, we made it to dinning for "seven seas" (A morning variation of night cap) then dispersed to class. That was when the rumours started to spread. I was hearing it all over. The voices claimed Mr. Paul Utulu was dead. gasp! Mr Paul Utulu was my favorite teacher. He was also my club leader and choir manager. I respected and admired him. He recently got married; had a daughter that was about a year or more old and a newly born son. His son had been ill; so much that we feared that he wouldn't make it. The school collectively said daily prayers for him. Then two days before, Mr Paul had gone to the hospital with minor complains and never came back. His son soon got well. They all said it was like the life of the father was exchanged for that of the son.
This is my very first memory of Friday the 13th. It was also the first time I ever lost my voice (from crying). This sad experience had made me cautious, although I do not think I am extremely superstitious about Friday the 13ths.
Today I said a prayer, but only because I was inspired from the week. In hindsight, I should have said one for this Friday the 13th too. 12:10pm and everything thing possible has gone wrong at work, and I am not in a terribly good mood. I have never been so stressed -balancing the work load of two. Oh Lawd!
Till date, I have occasional dreams about him. And would marvel at the conversations we had. RIP
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Eat, Sleep, Pray
The journey always seems unending while it is still lasting. However, when you look back, it does not seem to be that long at all. I may have done intensive job search for about a month. By this, I mean: routinely waking up each morning, hating you life then when you are done sulking, you find some motivation and grab your computer to start job hunting all over again. This is all I did besides sleeping, eating and all other necessities. It seemed endless and the thought of ever having a job began to sound more like a fantasy and far from reality.
The days were long and at the same time, I felt like time was creeping away. I looked any and everywhere, even planned to take the CNA exam to broaden my prospects. Then one day, I was scheming through my groups on linked-in and came across a posting. Some lady was looking for a job as a scientific recruiter. She was well experienced and was also offering pro-bono services to interested persons. I quickly contacted her with my resume, asking her for her opinion and recommendations. I did not expect a reply, so I was excited when I saw one.
The days were long and at the same time, I felt like time was creeping away. I looked any and everywhere, even planned to take the CNA exam to broaden my prospects. Then one day, I was scheming through my groups on linked-in and came across a posting. Some lady was looking for a job as a scientific recruiter. She was well experienced and was also offering pro-bono services to interested persons. I quickly contacted her with my resume, asking her for her opinion and recommendations. I did not expect a reply, so I was excited when I saw one.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
My Story
Within the month after graduation, I went out on a limb and moved 3.5hrs away to the twin cities (Minneapolis, St. Paul) and surrounding areas. I was convicted of my decision while everyone around me thought I was crazy (except my parents; who had come to trust my decisions). With all the questions and confused stares, and even suggestions on better ways to go, I still held with my decision.
You see, early into college I realized my choice in a small town and college may not have been the best for me. I looked forward to the time I would spread my wings. Moreover, with biology and chemistry as my majors and neuroscience as my minor, I realized Moorhead did not offer a lot of opportunities. I mean: the options where basic; you either find a psych tech position, take a course and become a CNA (certified nursing assistant) or scramble for the limited lab aide jobs at neighboring schools NDSU and MSUM. I wanted something else. Possibly a position where I could do more research and actual lab work, or maybe another position where I could be exposed to all things clinical and health related. I wanted to be more experienced and better my chances of getting into graduate school or medical school. Money was not a factor, but it helped convince other people. I wasnted to find my niche and passion.
The twin cities was the closest big town to me. It had a well functioning airport to encourage my travel habits, had all sorts of labs and scientific opportunities, options and everything I was looking for. Yet, it was small enough when I wanted it to be. So after 4packing trips, rejecting a lab position at NDSU, scores of money and uncountable confrontations later, I finally moved to the cities around the 7th/14th of June.
I arrived and shortly realized how much I hated my apartment. But I had rent, utilities and other bills to take care of and NO JOB!
Reality Struck
You see, early into college I realized my choice in a small town and college may not have been the best for me. I looked forward to the time I would spread my wings. Moreover, with biology and chemistry as my majors and neuroscience as my minor, I realized Moorhead did not offer a lot of opportunities. I mean: the options where basic; you either find a psych tech position, take a course and become a CNA (certified nursing assistant) or scramble for the limited lab aide jobs at neighboring schools NDSU and MSUM. I wanted something else. Possibly a position where I could do more research and actual lab work, or maybe another position where I could be exposed to all things clinical and health related. I wanted to be more experienced and better my chances of getting into graduate school or medical school. Money was not a factor, but it helped convince other people. I wasnted to find my niche and passion.
The twin cities was the closest big town to me. It had a well functioning airport to encourage my travel habits, had all sorts of labs and scientific opportunities, options and everything I was looking for. Yet, it was small enough when I wanted it to be. So after 4packing trips, rejecting a lab position at NDSU, scores of money and uncountable confrontations later, I finally moved to the cities around the 7th/14th of June.
I arrived and shortly realized how much I hated my apartment. But I had rent, utilities and other bills to take care of and NO JOB!
Reality Struck
Coming Up Soon
Oh my, I best learn how to become a fervent writter, especially now that I have graduated from college and should have time to spare.... yeah, you heard me right! I graduated....more than three months ago. Sometimes I still have to convince my self it is real!
So, In my boredom, I have had some random thoughts and experiences.... coming up soon!
xoxo
So, In my boredom, I have had some random thoughts and experiences.... coming up soon!
xoxo
Friday, April 23, 2010
Pick your BESTrunning shoes
What does it mean to be Nigerian, born and bred berom...what does it mean to be African, a woman and a feminist, a college graduate, a christian and a scientist, a dreamer, reserved and head strong (long list)......
what does it mean to be ME?
Its a question I have to ask my self over and over again. And the answers come, stay for a while till the question haunts me again. I guess it just means the quest for slef fulfilment never ends and we are ever changing, evolving........ the race keeps going.
pick your best running shoes
what does it mean to be ME?
Its a question I have to ask my self over and over again. And the answers come, stay for a while till the question haunts me again. I guess it just means the quest for slef fulfilment never ends and we are ever changing, evolving........ the race keeps going.
pick your best running shoes
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Diversity
From a video in class (I cannot remember the speaker, but these words touched me!):
"the truth of the 20th century is that 300 years from now, we will not be remembered for our ingenuity or technological advances, but how we all stood by and watched or actively contributed to the decay of biological and cultural DIVERSITY...."
"the truth of the 20th century is that 300 years from now, we will not be remembered for our ingenuity or technological advances, but how we all stood by and watched or actively contributed to the decay of biological and cultural DIVERSITY...."
A night out, a lesson thought?
Ooh! what a weekend?!! I have too weeks left to graduation. Its crunch time and everything is due this week. None the less, I was stressed from school and depleted from a lack of social living... plus it was a friend's birthday: so I went out. I all started out with an innocent barbecue but somehow ended up with me shaking 'da bootay' in the club whilst actively keeping all weirdo boys away, getting entertained with the arbitrary fights and ending up in a fender bender with a cab..... the 'sex-on-the-beach' was great none the less!
Okay so the main point of me blogging this is a conversation I had at the barbecue. I met a friend of a friend's who prefers to be called "Chido"... great guy, outspoken and hilarious! half way through the night, chido turns to me in the middle of conversation and says "why are you so 'goody-two-shoes?" I immediately jumped to the defense: "what do you mean by that? how do you know? i only just met you!" He proceeded to explain: "well, it just seems like you're so conserved. its not a bad thing, but i feel like if you open up more and be yourself, you just might enjoy life a lot more" WOW
I appreciate an outspoken person like that. Now, this might be offensive to some people, but people already make judgements when they see you. They might as well say it right? Additionally, It did not seem like he meant harm. He got me thinking. In my view, it simply takes me sometime to warm up to people and sometimes I am reserved; but to people I knew well enough I was a totally different, outspoken and perhaps loud person. I did not think I was fake because of that. I kept to my self in certain environments. I did not portray myself as what I wasnt. But when I thought about it last night, I was forced to ask: are we infact not being true to ourselves when we do that? is that a passive form of falseness that entails this subtle self withdrawal? Maybe we owe it to ourselves to always put our core out there but I am sure we find that society would frown on that...... but we do find some people with whom it is entirely accepted.
Maybe we all are fake.
~honesty~
Okay so the main point of me blogging this is a conversation I had at the barbecue. I met a friend of a friend's who prefers to be called "Chido"... great guy, outspoken and hilarious! half way through the night, chido turns to me in the middle of conversation and says "why are you so 'goody-two-shoes?" I immediately jumped to the defense: "what do you mean by that? how do you know? i only just met you!" He proceeded to explain: "well, it just seems like you're so conserved. its not a bad thing, but i feel like if you open up more and be yourself, you just might enjoy life a lot more" WOW
I appreciate an outspoken person like that. Now, this might be offensive to some people, but people already make judgements when they see you. They might as well say it right? Additionally, It did not seem like he meant harm. He got me thinking. In my view, it simply takes me sometime to warm up to people and sometimes I am reserved; but to people I knew well enough I was a totally different, outspoken and perhaps loud person. I did not think I was fake because of that. I kept to my self in certain environments. I did not portray myself as what I wasnt. But when I thought about it last night, I was forced to ask: are we infact not being true to ourselves when we do that? is that a passive form of falseness that entails this subtle self withdrawal? Maybe we owe it to ourselves to always put our core out there but I am sure we find that society would frown on that...... but we do find some people with whom it is entirely accepted.
Maybe we all are fake.
~honesty~
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Like a Fish out of Water
So I mentioned I am at a critical position and I need to make a lot of decisions. I thought about getting a job as a safety net, a booster and possibly buy time to think and decide some more.
Hmm.... the job market! It feels as confusing as searching through the PubMed data base for articles on "spectrometric methods in elucidating amyloid fibril structure" (trust me: been there, done that!). I mean where to you start, what to look for, when, why, how long and how much?? Its almost a black hole with lots of uncertainty.
I formed a strategy on tackling this problem based on a friendly advise from the career counselor. I decided to go the route of recruiting agencies, which was a good resolve for my control issues. Random online application processes sounded long, uncertain, too large of a pool and simply ermm.....random. The route of a recruiting agency sounded quite straight forward: you meet and discuss with someone who's sole objective is to present you with opportunities, then you pray hard and take all necessary steps. Right?
Well, I went ov
er to visit with my recruiter a couple days ago. Actually, I did not learn about the waiting time till then but that was the only bad news. It was actually interesting to learn all the "secret tips" to getting a job. First: the one page rule for you resume....psshh! Apparently no hiring officer really minds. If you have much information and experience to exceed a page (and not just white space), then go ahead and impress them. I also learned that employers have a way of performing quick searches on online applications. This simply search for a key word like "PCR" or "research" experience and naturally look at the resumes with the largest hits first. This says you should try and put as much information in there as is relevant. No fronting allowed. Do not leave out the "meat" as room for questions on the interview (what good is that if you never get to the interviewing stage?). I was also excited when I found out I could give myself a tailored title like "Research Associate" to cover some important lab projects I may have done as a class (I mean who doesn't like important titles right?) Most importantly, I learned: GPAs DO NOT MATTER! You do not even have to add those 3digits on your resume... unless asked. After four hard and long years of college labor????
Here we go again with the college troubles..... why is college so stressed if GPAs are not the top determinants in getting a job, and increasingly you cannot even get a decent job without higher degrees (Masters and PhD). Well, I discovered how this works like a chain reaction of some sorts. So employers are looking for those really important experiences but you only get experiences like summer research by competitive application which obviously depend on you GPA. Therefore, in a round about way, the experiences account for you GPA. However, GPAs are highly important in Grad school applications. there has to be a compromise and it depends on what you goals in life are. The rewards are less if you are simply a book worm. Experiences go a long way (also who you know) but if you can get those experiences alongside your book-wormness, perfecto!
oh College!
Hmm.... the job market! It feels as confusing as searching through the PubMed data base for articles on "spectrometric methods in elucidating amyloid fibril structure" (trust me: been there, done that!). I mean where to you start, what to look for, when, why, how long and how much?? Its almost a black hole with lots of uncertainty.
I formed a strategy on tackling this problem based on a friendly advise from the career counselor. I decided to go the route of recruiting agencies, which was a good resolve for my control issues. Random online application processes sounded long, uncertain, too large of a pool and simply ermm.....random. The route of a recruiting agency sounded quite straight forward: you meet and discuss with someone who's sole objective is to present you with opportunities, then you pray hard and take all necessary steps. Right?
Well, I went ov
er to visit with my recruiter a couple days ago. Actually, I did not learn about the waiting time till then but that was the only bad news. It was actually interesting to learn all the "secret tips" to getting a job. First: the one page rule for you resume....psshh! Apparently no hiring officer really minds. If you have much information and experience to exceed a page (and not just white space), then go ahead and impress them. I also learned that employers have a way of performing quick searches on online applications. This simply search for a key word like "PCR" or "research" experience and naturally look at the resumes with the largest hits first. This says you should try and put as much information in there as is relevant. No fronting allowed. Do not leave out the "meat" as room for questions on the interview (what good is that if you never get to the interviewing stage?). I was also excited when I found out I could give myself a tailored title like "Research Associate" to cover some important lab projects I may have done as a class (I mean who doesn't like important titles right?) Most importantly, I learned: GPAs DO NOT MATTER! You do not even have to add those 3digits on your resume... unless asked. After four hard and long years of college labor????Here we go again with the college troubles..... why is college so stressed if GPAs are not the top determinants in getting a job, and increasingly you cannot even get a decent job without higher degrees (Masters and PhD). Well, I discovered how this works like a chain reaction of some sorts. So employers are looking for those really important experiences but you only get experiences like summer research by competitive application which obviously depend on you GPA. Therefore, in a round about way, the experiences account for you GPA. However, GPAs are highly important in Grad school applications. there has to be a compromise and it depends on what you goals in life are. The rewards are less if you are simply a book worm. Experiences go a long way (also who you know) but if you can get those experiences alongside your book-wormness, perfecto!
oh College!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
What better time?
Well, basically, its been more than a year since I posted (not good) but I have been thinking about it and I decided: what better time to post my thoughts? I am presently a senior; graduating in a month and facing the thoughest decisions yet. The whole medical school dream is in question and then there is the idea of graduate school and research. Either way it is not easy: the decisions may even be the easiest part of it all.... I will definitely have to bring in everything I've got and document every bit I could ;)
I may also have to occasionally step back...
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