To Be or Not To Be?

Okay this title may sound a bit far to too theatrical for its content, but it might be worth the read.

The fall semester ended and I had virtually made up my mind not to to apply for an RA position. I figured it might be unnecessary since I was turned down 2years ago. Coming back this semester, I noticed one of my friends who had been admitted to medical school was an RA once. I began to notice it was the trend with all my other friends and medical school prospects. Definitely, this got me thinking about my previous decision. I hurried and checked that the deadlines for application had not passed. My hopes were up again but I had another priority.

I was hoping to do some research work over summer (now this I enjoy very much), so I had to start getting the applications in order and completed. Meanwhile,I had a week till the deadline to RA application. By the time I was done and placing more attention on the RA application, I hit a road block. I was required to submit a recommendation from my RA. This was impossible because I had moved off campus the previous summer to provide a more stable situation (being an international student and moving around when school is out). No doubt, this did not turn me down because I am pretty insistent. I dug underground and finally got confirmation that it would be okay to have any other faculty member I work closely with to fill this position.

So here I am sitting in from of my desk on a Saturday evening,...... applications are due the coming Monday. And I ask myself: "to be or not to be?"

To Be:
Really, it would not hurt to try. RA positions are a great props for medical school admissions. There are surplus skills to be learned, and the experience is fun and unparalleled. If my Economics class is teaching me anything this semester, the great benefit of this is the stipend and the stipend that comes with this. After I was put on hold on the first application, I am sure I did a lot of developing and growing,....... but is this what I really want and what I should be after?

Not To Be:
Huge, huge time commitment. I have quite a hard time as it is with all my extra lab classes and co-curricular activities. There are other requirements too. I simply cannot fail. And it will be my final/ senior year. Perhaps there should be other things on my priority list.
Besides, I am forced to ask the the real reason why I am applying for this position......
If I got someone to write a recommendation, I am sure it will not be the best ( who gives good recommendations when you ask at the dying minute?) and spoil my chances anyway.

What will I choose? the result will be out tomorrow, and I know no matter what choice I make, I will regret it.